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Chapter 46

Harold Littrell sat in the waiting room waiting anxiously for permission to visit his son. The past few hours, no days, had been a living hell for him and his family. He remembered the feelings of shock and fear that enveloped him when his oldest son had told him and his wife the condition of his youngest child, his baby. Now he sat in a simply decorated waiting room waiting to hear if his youngest child would live and continue his life, or die and join his brother in heaven. He felt his throat close up when he thought about his oldest son, who was now probably watching down on them from heaven. It seemed that in just one fraction of a second, his first-born was taken away from his life without warning, leaving a void that will never be filled. He smiled inwardly as he remembered the times that had made his son’s time on Earth special. Memories of when he was born, to his first day of kindergarten, to high school graduation floated through his mind. He sat back and let the memories wash over him, both good and bad.


“Harold, Harold?” Jackie said as she shook her husband’s shoulder gently, yet persistently. She sighed as she realized she wasn’t getting his attention and sank down into her chair defeated.

“Why Lord, why?” she silently asked. In just a day, she had lost her first-born child and stood a good chance at losing her youngest, something that no parent should ever face. As she gazed at her husband she realized that he must be doing the same she was doing, remembering the times they had with their children years ago, the times she wished she could go back and relive again if it meant a few more precious moments with her children. She sighed again and waited as the minutes ticked by, waiting for any news on her son.


Nick shifted uneasily in his wheelchair and he watched Brian’s parents sadly. Even though no one blamed him he knew it was his entire fault. He just had a feeling deep inside that all the tragedy that had happened, actually was his fault and he followed this feeling, not believing the things people said that implied it wasn’t his fault. He clutched the armrests of the wheelchair tightly as Dr. Adele gravely entered the waiting room and cleared his throat. He watched Brian’s parents and realized that they had been so lost in their thoughts and grief, that they didn’t realize that the doctor had entered the room. He watched as the doctor approached the two grieving parents and quietly announced his presence.

“May we see him now?” Brian’s mother quietly asked.

The doctor smiled before answering and nodded his head. “Yes ma’am you may, the anesthesia should be worn off by now so he should be awake in about 15 minutes at the most” he said as he looked at his watch.

“Oh thank you so much, doctor,” she exclaimed as she got up from her seat and took her husband’s hand in hers. “Come on honey. Let’s go see Brian”, she said to her husband as she walked out of the room, behind the doctor. The door shut behind them, leaving everyone left in the room wondering what Brian’s condition was.


“Hey Nick, you want to go check out the gift shop downstairs with us?” AJ asked as he knelt in front of Nick.

When he received no response he lifted Nick’s chin up and looked him right in the eyes, hoping to get his point across. “Nicky, I know you have heard this plenty of times, but hearing it once more won’t hurt. What has happened is NOT your fault, you hear me?”

Nick nodded solemnly and looked as his other two band mates, who by that time had also gathered around his wheelchair. “Yeah let’s go check out the gift shop,” he said halfheartedly as his friends pushed his wheelchair and IV stand down the hall towards the elevator.

A few minutes later Nick and his three friends were in the almost empty hospital gift shop. He was looking at magazine covers looking for anything that caught his eye and reached for one magazine and gasped loudly. All three of his friends rushed over thinking he was in pain or had hurt himself and they all cursed under their breath. There in Nick’s shaking hands was a national tabloid, which contained a recent picture of the group and a recent picture of Brian’s family with the bold words that screamed out “Backstreet Boy at Fault for Death of Band mate's Brother. More on page 37.”

Chapter 47